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Old 11-11-2010, 02:21 AM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 819
Unhappy Intimacy Issues...

A month or so ago, my SO said that he needed to cool things down physically because he felt like it was getting very hard to for him to play within the boundaries that his wife is comfortable. I personally, was not having that problem, but I understood that he needed to feel more comfortable. He said he was unsure when things might resume. A week or two ago, I checked in with him on things and he said he was feeling stable. Unfortunately, at the time, I was not feeling so stable. Ever since we'd had to cool things down, I'd been feeling off in the relationship. That day we had a good, long honest discussion and I expressed to him that I was unhappy not being able to "play." He said that he wanted to but that he felt bad dragging me "back into it." I really wasn't sure how to respond. I was happy with the status of things before he made big changes and I wasn't having any issues not going further. So I'm not sure why he keeps giving me excuses that it's better for me somehow if we aren't physically involved. He is a lot older than me so perhaps he thinks he is protecting me from heartbreak? Or maybe just doesn't want to admit that it has to do with him. I know that he is worried that I will become too attached to him and want more than he can give. He also would like to be more but his wife is not okay with that right now. I am, however, fully aware of the limits and have agreed to them explicitly. So I'm not sure what he means about "dragging me back into it." I'm already "into it." I care about him a lot. Not being physically involved only makes me frustrated because the feelings are there no matter what. I'm not really sure how to approach this topic with him right now.
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