Thanks you two, it feels good to come here with some good news and a positive perspective.
As for finding a poly community here, we haven't really been looking too hard - though I know there are some others about. Some friends of ours apparently have a bunch of poly friends, but we've sorta been keeping this lifestyle decision close to the chest, as it were... We're afraid it could have negative career impact for the wife if it was common knowledge, so we're not totally sure who to "come out" to and who not to just yet. I just registered for that "okcupid" site I saw a link to in another thread, and requested to be added to the Virginia poly personals Yahoo! group, but haven't been approved yet. I've tried craigslist, but that just seems to be full of men, gay men who have a thing for straight men, and spambots.
I've also tried going out alone to bars and such a couple times, and usually have no trouble talking to women at all, but there always seems to be some reason things cannot progress beyond a certain point. It's tough to overcome a cockblock without a wingman.
Well, that, and I'm really out of practice meeting women at bars, having never really done it before (my wife and I have been together since I was 18).
SNeacail - sounds like a pretty typical guy's strategy - "don't sweat the small stuff." I've been firmer, more opinionated, and more demanding of her lately, and she seems to like it, so hey... No, Chicken Marsala is a TERRIBLE choice for dinner, I cannot abide! Give me Chicken Parmesan or give me death!