Thanks for your replies.
I agree with the fact that this is a very messy situation and perhaps shameful.
There are additional contextual elements that I have left out for the sake of brevity.
My relationship with my SO was in very bad shape (other than sex) and she agrees with this fact. She basically left me to myself for at least 2 years while she pursued activites that really got me jealous (no cheating though). This is why she is forgiving to my acts I believe.
The "I love her to death" comment was probably inappropriate and understand this now. Should be "'love her soo much".
The cowgirl/2nd was truly cooperating in the beginning but got frustrated after some time since me/SO were not able to set the guidelines and made her
confused. She then decided to let her anger out..
Miss 2nd/Cowgirl is yes married but has a somewhat consensual agreement with her husband. Not sure what it is but she is entirely comfortable with this. The whole scene around us knows this.
So my last attempt is to cut this crap and perhaps maintain a friendship but this will be hard.
Also, I NEVER intended to pursue anything that I would not let my SO do on her side. That was just bad writing on my behalf.
Yes, perhaps I have been disrespectful and recognize that. This is unusual as the situation became very stressful.
I am working with SO right now to put this behind us. I have cut communications with 2nd until my SO decides she wants to go ahead...if ever.
In the end, it wasn't so much about sex....not sure if this is possible in a poly relation. I need to read more.
Last edited by yul; 11-10-2010 at 08:53 PM.