YES. I want so much more from my boyfriend. I want a future with him. But the cards are against us. He's 28, I'm 46. My kids are half grown and I'm not having any more, and I already have a wonderful husband whom I adore. Boyfriend wants a primary partner of his own, and although I could theoretically move him in with us and consider him co-primary with my husband down the road, I don't think he wants that. He wants his own wife, and maybe a family of his own too, and neither he, or I, really think he's committed to being poly for the long haul anyway. He only came to this lifestyle as a workaround for a sexless marriage, which is likely to end within the year anyway.
I feel myself falling for him and I resist it as hard as I can. I know he sees me as a good friend he can sleep with, even though he's too gentlemanly to think about it like that consciously. He's charming and sweet and caring but not romantic in the slightest. It's probably better for me that he isn't, because then I'd be a goner, and it would be that much harder losing him down the road.
I'm just trying to live in the moment and cherish my time with him while I have it.