Originally Posted by Krazykitty
This is a beautiful point and I so appreciate your thoughts...... but I don't think my darling believes that it can/should be dealt with as a couple because he sees it (insecurity/feeling ugly) as "my" issue. This is part of how the intro to poly went for me, it was never a couple discussion of how things would go but him saying "this is what I want". It seems like a marker of our relationship that I feel that emotional "stuff" is more collective and he sees it as "stuff" we individually own and are responsible for. It was a reason I felt blindsided or whatever you want to call it...
Thanks for your thoughts.
I'm new to this, but I believe others will agree that's an issue for both of you. And if HE just wants it for him and TRULY nor for both of you AND the other person(s) in the relationship to be, then you ALL have a problem until you all get that insecurity and "what I want" mentality sorted out.