Originally Posted by arpeggi
I really wish I could drop my emotions and be capable of moving on. I'm not capable of hurting someone so deeply, and I'm actually afraid of what would happen to Lily.
If I said that, "I'll hate to lose you, but I must be true to my own nature", Lily would let me. She would obviously try to change my mind but she wants me to be happy. And maybe I would do it if I thought I would be happier, but I'm happier with Lily than with no one at all.
I can't improve on the information that has been given to you by the other folks that have responded to this thread. Excellent information from all! The thing that caught my attention in your above quote is that you make this statement as though you are an objective observer concerned with only the feelings of the others involved. It's your feelings........for yourself.......that I think you are most concerned with. As J pointed out you want your cake and eat it too. It is not my intention to be harsh. It is all but impossible to mold someone against their own nature just to meet your needs and goals. I think what is going on here is that you, and perhaps Lily, are sitting on the dead center of the fence. Indecision is in fact a decision. It's the type of choice that we make when we want to avoid pain.
The difference is that the pain that results from getting off the fence brings about resolution and healing. The pain that results from indecision and staying on the fence is ongoing and never ending. It's avoidance of what needs to be done for both you and the women in your life. In a very real sense the next move is yours, and yours alone. I hope you choose to bring about resolution and healing.