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Old 11-10-2010, 12:40 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by yul View Post
Miss 2nd is also not completely clean in that she did try to make me leave my SO...maybe just out of boredom and pity for us.
This was clearly a mistake but it does not belong to my SO to judge. I believe it was my job to tame the tiger...
It might be your job to tame the tiger, but you are playing with fire. A poacher (search for cowgirl as that is a more common term) is exactly as you describe.

Its well within your SO's right to judge, I believe. Someone is trying to swoop in and steal you? And she is married. There are multiple layers of deceit and in the end creates a lot of mistrust. Its going to be tough pill for your SO to swallow and its going to be hard for her to trust the situation.

I know my SO could adapt to what I want to live but she is either not ready now or REALLY doesnt like Miss 2nd. I do not intend to impose any of them to each other anyways.
How do you plan to stop them from being imposed. I think I understand your meaning, but even in a very split V they will interact in some ways. You should read through the multiple threads on this forum about V's where the legs do not get along. Its a tough road you are proposing.

I really like my SO to death as well but i am seeing a side of her I dont like. I also do not want miss 2nd to give up on me, which is what I believe my SO is trying to achieve.

It sounds like you SO sees someone who is not trying to join the family but trying to ruin it. You have some work to do to convince your SO this isn't going to happen and that you are with her and trying to expand the family.

She asked if she could do the same to me and I said yes as long as she didnt have sex but that wasn't enough for her.

ummmmmmmmm....ummm...well...sorry you can have someone to be romantic with and I assume eventually you want sex (please correct me if I misread that) and you don't mind if you wife goes off and finds a new man as long as there is no sex?

Thats not really you saying she can do the same thing as you. Thats you saying she can do some of the things you want to do but not all of them

Unless you are trying to put together a sexless romantic relationship

Anyways, I think you SO has some rights to be concerned. Cold hard stop to anything, maybe not, but there are levels of deceit that need to be addressed to make her comfortable again.

Last edited by Ariakas; 11-10-2010 at 12:43 AM.
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