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Old 11-09-2010, 11:13 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 228

Originally Posted by sage View Post
Vodkafan I think you are pretty amazing. Are you are confirmed mono or do you think you'd like to find someone else at some stage? I don't think if Z wanted to start living part of the time with someone else I would handle it at all well. I'd have to find someone else, I wouldn't want to live alone even for 3 days a week. He'd love his SO to come and live with us, I could handle that better.
Thanks for the compliment Sage and Redpepper, I don't think I am amazing just an ordinary guy. In fact my wife is amazing, I see how hard she is working all the time to make this work.

My wife and I had the conversation about whether I wanted to find someone else. In theory she agreed that I should have the same opportunity as her but she was very relieved when I told her I did not want that. I have examined myself and think I am hard wired mono. I don't see the point in splitting the time I have with her even further by looking around for something that to me, would not be worth the effort I would have to put in. Another woman would always be "secondary".
Where love is concerned, I like all my eggs in one basket, I want to give her 100% of me.
Actually Polyandry works out a much better deal for all of us because my wife works that much harder to please her two guys, and we all have security. That's the way we feel.
The 3 days are not too much of an issue because I now get the chance to get to know my kids better than I did before. I have become a better parent.
She gets the chance to work quite intensely on each relationship in turn. It is also exciting when we get to see each other again after 3 days. It reminds me of when I was a teenager, waiting to see a girlfriend again.
Another tangible benefit is that we argue much less, we can have a discussion about some aspect and find a solution within minutes. Arguments now have a beginning, middle and an end. Then we move on.

The fact is that I did this because my wife is worth sharing. I would not do it for anyone else.
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
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