For me, it was hard to believe that Karma could feel the same things I did. I knew my feelings for him didn't change simply because I was interested in someone else. But could I trust that he felt the same way?
I don't think it is a double standard. I think she is just feeling a bit insecure about the relationship between the two of you.
Give her the affirmation she needs. Spend a good amount of quality time together. Assure her of how important she is to you.
Even if she's not the type to need it. Karma and I ran into some insecurities because I am normaly a very strong self assured person. I don't need the little things on a day to day basis.
When Cricket came into the picture, I found that I did need them. I needed corny little facebook messages. I needed random acts of "hey I thought of you today".
It wasn't that I didn't support them. It was that I was feeling a bit neglected. When he would do those things for her and not me, I felt like he wasn't thinking of me. That his time thinking of his women was concentrated on her. Why else would he leave her love poems and quotes, when he never did it for me?
Well he didn't do it for me b/c I never needed it. Not because he loved me less or anything else I had convinced myself of.
Maybe in your NRE you are doing things for your new love, that is making your wife question her importance to you.
I think it's time for a sit down about what she needs to feel loved and acknowledged. Then give it to her.
Karma didn't do those things, because he didn't know I needed them. When I expressed the need, and he fulfilled it, I was more secure in us and in turn, supportive of them.