View Single Post
Old 11-09-2010, 02:52 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

It seems to me she is simply scared of losing you. She might have hidden her relationship with her boyfriend because she thought you'd leave her if you knew. Now she's afraid your girlfriend might be "better" and that you'll leave.
Maybe she isn't convinced that you are indeed poly, especially if it started out with your saying you weren't.

I think you need to talk about it. Sure it looks like a double standard, but from her point of view she knows she's not going to leave you... And if she was going to, she would have already, since she's been with the other man for a while. But she doesn't know how you feel, and she is worried it might be different. Reassure her as much as you can. Because she is poly doesn't mean she has zero insecurities and fears. Talk about it until she realises her fears are based on nothing and that she's safe.
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
Reply With Quote