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Old 11-08-2010, 06:22 PM
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Selene Selene is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: California
Posts: 28
Default My life, My Marius, My Rage

@NeonKaos: It's fine with me as well.


I think I should explain a bit more about my relationship with Rage, so I'll start with my background.

Rage was one of my first real friends in high school. We had much in common, I was fucked up, she was fucked up, we had both just moved and our families were in turmoil. We also lived very close to one another. When, Marius met Rage, we all just clicked. We started doing everything together except sometimes Rage would bail and it gave Marius and I more bonding time. Rage knew that I was falling in love with Marius but she began dating her anyway.

Times passed...we grew close. Then Marius met Company who Rage had a huge problem with and because I was such a doormat at the time, I had a problem with him as well. This created friction with Marius and she and Rage began fighting more and more. One night we tried to conduct a ritual to try and bring us back together, it backfired. Marius ended up in the ER, Rage was chain smoking outside and I didn't know what to do. I was determined to keep all of us together.

Maris began pulling away from both of us. When talking about this years later, she said that she didn't mean pull away from me but at the time I was very, very hurt. Because of my fear of being alone, I clung to Rage not really knowing what to do.

Marius moved farther away from me and met Vegeta and Thunder. When she tried to integrate Rage and I with that, Rage resisted. She was very jealous that Marius was choosing to hang with them over her, and kept saying they were "fake friends". Marius shut her out for awhile after that.

Rage spiraled. She got really into drugs and hung out with dealers. Eventually I grew a spine and told her to fuck off which she didn't take well. When I began dating Andulvar she and him also "clicked" as they have lots in common. Andulvar didn't like what she was doing to me however and hung out with her less and less. After she moved down south, tensions eased. Marius worked out some issues with her (and issues of her own) and so did Rage.
Things were actually going okay until she hurt her knee.

The biggest question that I get is: why are you still her friend? Honestly, right now thats what I am working out. While she has improved on her anger and possessiveness problems, she is still highly self-absorbed. Right now, she's in her own pity party and I can't stand it. She keeps taking me for granted and it's making me frustrated by proxy this is making my circle house quite irate with her. I'm trying to figure out a way to talk to her about this without her going on gung-ho on me but for right now, I'm keeping my distance.

Bottom line is, I love chilling with her. I love clubbing with her, drinking with her, playing games with her and just talking with her. I hate how she feels entitled to all of my time, gets butt-hurt when I don't invite her to every damn thing and won't stop whining about how she is the victim in all of this. I love her and I fucking hate her.

Maybe some serious altar time will help sort this out...
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I'm a pansexual female- married to Andulvar and dating Marius, Company and Thunder<3
Blog: Life in my Circle House
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