Oh myyy... Hahaha! "Don't stick your dick in crazy," "don't stick your dick in crazy" hilarious!
Seriously though, its not an uncommon thing for women to go out a fucking instead of getting therapy for the abuse issues they have. Its not really connected bonding, deeping a relationship , but for sport. That's fun, but if you thought you were building a relationship with this woman, you were mistaken I think. Cheating aside, which for me would be a deal breaker, it might be an idea to figure out what you want from a relationship outside of your wife. Do you want poly? Or polyfuckery? (to use a term I just started a thread on) which isn't poly, just bastardizing the word if you ask me.
It sounds like you want more than this woman can offer.