Originally Posted by nightwalker
When my partner goes out with her new boyfriend I am told to have compersion and to be happy for them. I am very happy that they are going out to have fun and quality time together but I also feel sad when my partner doesn't want to spend time with me. I have to babysit which is ok but it means i can't distract myself when they are out. I don't believe this is jealousy as I am happy for them to go out together and willing to mind the kids while they are out.
My question is as I am having compersion for my partner and her boyfriend what are they feeling for me? Is there a positive term for what they should be feeling for those left behind to mind the fort. I have heard some people mention gratitude or appreciation for the sacrifice but is there a particularly poly term for this gratitude or appreciation of those babysitting or alone at home while their partners are out having fun?
I know it is hard for my when my partner goes out with his new girlfriend. Since we haven't exactly established what exactly is going on as for if this is truely a poly relationship or not, it seems even more insane to me. I try not to fight it and just hope he is finding what he needs. I love him enough to do that, and I try not to worry about what they are thinking or feeling about me at the time. It is their time and I let them have it.
It might be a bit easier since there are no children involved here.
Best of luck, hope you are finding the peace and support you need.