I have not been following the whole situation, but from your description of it, I will say nope, no sir, definitely not poly- not demonstrating nearly enough love, respect and consideration for herself or for you.
Now I'll throw down some thoughts I think apply.
When someone is endangering him/herself or others, seek professional assistance immediately.
People may say anything, but actions reveal the heart. So listen to what someone says, but trust what they do.
People change their behavior when it no longer works for them, and generally not before.