Originally Posted by sage
Poly relationships require more attention to detail and this gives us another tool in which to do this. I have bent over backwards to be "of service" to Z, because it is high on my love language list but is actually quite low in his. To some extent we give as we want to receive.
Not to sound off topic but it is kind of related. Funny you should mention the give and receive idea Sage. With Christmas approaching we were talking about the really puzzling gifts we have received over the years- from really good friends or close family, you know, the people that should know you best. Anyway, as you know while receiving gifts is low on my Love Language, I always appreciate gifts that are well thought out. Not more expensive or extravagant, on the contrary. The best gift I have received in the last couple of years was a garage sale find...I love old typewriters, it was a late 1920s Underwood. I never appreciate girly gifts...perfume or flowers or fluffy things and it always amazes me when people with whom I have relationships buy those things for me. I take great care in listening to my loved ones and choosing special things or surprises that they would NEVER buy for themselves. Things that he/she have always wanted. I love cookbooks...not everyone loves to cook, why would I buy something I like for someone who may not find that same thing interesting?
Anyway, back on point, instead of thinking of ourselves when showing love...how much better would our relationships be if we really started every thought or action with that other person's love language in mind? Not a great revelation here, but one so many of us overlook.