Monogamy is so strongly programmed and anything different so strongly condemned in culture that I think it's unrealistic to have "the talk" with anyone you're seriously monogamously dating and expect a positive result. I've tried that--- many times, dating someone, deciding to get serious, and then having "the talk." It has not worked. If your partner doesn't know anything about poly already, and has never thought of venturing into unexplored romantic territory themselves, and a serious partner starts talking to them about it, it will feel to them that they are being broadsided.
I tried having mono relationships after college, but they were not for me, and "the talk," no matter how it was approached, was death to what should have been serious relationships. So I made a decision not to date anyone who wasn't already poly or otherwise responsibly nonmonogamous, or at least have the talk before any dating occurred (and then only if the other person seemed genuinely interested in the idea). I wasn't willing to settle for monogamy, and I saw that I was hurting people by having relationships with them when their expectations were so radically different. This policy worked out well so far.
Last edited by Ready2Fly; 11-07-2010 at 06:06 AM.