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Old 08-20-2009, 10:45 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520

No one has said to drop your emotions. Only to defuse and eliminate the drama. The only way to do that is by doing what JRiver suggests. Emotions typically cannot be turned on and off like a light switch.

I for one, can empathize with having to "drop" a person who cannot be poly. Although I guess he did the "dropping". He and I are still friends and yes, I still love him passionately, but I know that at this point in time, there is no possibility of he and I having a romantic relationship. (for more info see Long Info Dump Vent)

And as I think of it, just because there is no possibility of the romantic relationship now doesn't mean that there may not be one in the future (couple years or more even) after individuals have learned more about themselves and what they truly want and what they will do and accept and also not accept. This is not an "age" thing, this is an experience thing.

Don't spend all your time and all your life wishing, wishing you could be yourself, wishing you could have both of the loves of your life, wishing that they would accept you for who and what you are, wishing you could be what one wants without hurting the other. Wishing is supposed to lead to action, if it does not then you stagnate and stagnation leads to death. Maybe not physical but emotional for sure.

Good luck and welcome to the forums.
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
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