Having followed the situation, I can say with certainty that what ever your wife is doing, it is not poly. Not in any way, shape, or form. Even from the beginning, her stated intent never jived with the basic idea behind poly.
I wish I could give you some peace of mind, but you're not going to find the answer you're looking for. She's lost something along the way that only she will be able to decide to find again, and until then there's nothing anyone can do for her.
Please continue to keep yourself safe.