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Old 11-05-2010, 07:16 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I think about that "ownership" thing, a good way to put it might be that you don't belong to each other, but you both belong to the relationship.
I like this... it makes sense to me. When we decide to be in a relationship we become part of that relationship rather than part of each other. We belong to that relationship not each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
When you have sex with someone other than your partner, then you have sex with your partner, it's like they had sex with that person by proxy. Any risk you might have taken will be risks for him too. Even if you use protection, things aren't 100% safe.
The risk is not only physical its emotional too. There is no protection for emotional risk. That is why there is so much processing for a couple that has invested in each other.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Ok.........
So, to me (only me), if I 'knew' you had a prospect, knew you were (or intended) seeing him, I would ASSUME it would take a sexual direction if the opportunity presented itself. After all, this IS part of the purpose - no ?
The thing is GS, you have been around this block before and have experience. You and the wife know what to expect and have some idea of what might happen if things get sexual. Yes, that is a good goal, its healthy to be able to assume things will get sexual if you have had poly relationships before... that is part of it.... but the OP and her partner haven't experienced poly relationships yet and were just talking about how that might play out for them. It seems to me she went from zero to a hundred in the course of a weekend. That plays out very differently for someone that has not finished negotiating the boundaries of their first poly relationship and someone that has years of experience and a wife that he has been married to for many years. No?
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