One of the things I'm realizing is that by placing a bunch of importance on them meeting you, you get this idea in your head that it will be freeing or good feelings will then be shared.
Met her, knew her before hand, given inclusion and respect? Check check check and check.
It doesn't guarantee anything you're hoping for will happen.
So I'm voting a quick hello introduction and then add to the amount of time spent around each other with each next interaction as it seems appropriate. Forcing it makes it that much more frustrating because you start building up some preconceived impression of them via their reluctance or some misunderstood reaction. Now I look at it much more as a "I'll meet you when I meet you" scenario.
Also gone way down on my to do list is seeking them out for friend time one on one after you meet them. If it happens great! But there won't always be reciprocity for your efforts and I found a tendency in me to let their lack of effort make me feel slighted. And I saw feeling slighted was making it harder for me to accept them.
Whatever it is that you're worried will happen if you don't meet her - meeting her won't guarantee it doesn't come to pass anyway.