Originally Posted by Fidelia
You say she is cheating. Those who cheat with you will also cheat on you.
Also, the relationship you have now is not polyamorous, since poly is rooted in honesty, integrity, and respect for everyone involved. Neither she nor you are demonstrating much respect and concern for her OSO. At the moment you both are treating him like a mushroom, in that you are keeping him in the dark and feeding him a load of shit.
If you want to move your V forward into a state of integrity, insist on meeting him and putting it all out there. If she's okay with that, fine; you all move forward. If she refuses, there's your answer. If she says okay but the meet and greet never actually happens, beat feet, BrotherMan, just as fast as your feet will beat.
Fidelia, I think I am in love with you.... HAHAHA!!! I love it!
In agreement with everyone really. She isn't the kind of character that I would bother with really. I'm sure she is lovely, but really, I don't have time for that kind of bullshit. I think if this were me I would tell her that you will wait for her while she sorts stuff out with her boyfriend and if after a certain time when things are cool resume what you have started, starting with talking with him and making sure he is cool with it. It would be really important to distance myself from her drama and go do something else. I wouldn't want that on my shoulders and wouldn't want to have to deal with the wake she has caused... again, life's too short.
I was this girl for a bit. I wish someone would of given me a swift kick in the ass and gave me the real goods on cheating, but no, no one did, and I fucked over lots of people and now am angry that I was walking around all thinking that I was getting away with it. I got away with nothing! It haunts me to this day that I was that girl and that others around me had no respect for me....
If I were you I would show her some respect and lay out how you feel. What do you have to lose, nothing, what does she have to gain? Someone being real with her. If you do that, there is still a chance to turn it around I think.