Ours was a long distance relationship. They lived together. I was the new one. So, after he and I became acquainted through emails and phone calls, we started adding her into some of our phone calls in casual conversations. (She didn't like emailing.) Then when we decided to meet in-person, they gave me the option of just meeting him, alone, first, or both of them....either in neutral territory or in their home area. It happened that she was working the night shift the first time we were to meet in-person, so it was just he and I. But, he and I went and took her lunch the next day at her workplace.
Now, it took me awhile to reach the point of wanting to have contact with her. When he and I first "met" online, poly was a new idea to me and I was very cautious. I really enjoy her company now, however, and we get along just fine.
If she agrees to meet you at some point in time, maybe it would help to ask her what would help her feel most comfortable in terms of time, location, activity, etc.
Last edited by dragonflysky; 11-05-2010 at 05:57 AM.