Good questions! No actually I don't believe we have discussed the subtitles of meeting metamours...
I think it depends on the metamour for sure... When PN met Mono for the first time is was a quick hello at the door with a hand shake and then Mono and I left. That was good until next time when we talked a bit more about what the hell we were doing. I met PN's loves after he had been chatting with them for a while and he had been on a date or two. I knew Derby's husband before I dated her, so that worked out well... I asked him if I could ask her on a date.
I would suggest calling her up and asking her how she wants to go about it as it is definitely not a choice... what is a choice is how/where and for how long. Maybe a quick hi and then meet up to chat next time, or maybe invite her for supper, or just you and her go for coffee... you can suggest ideas according to her comfort, but making sure she knows that it's not optional to meet.
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