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Old 11-04-2010, 10:05 PM
eklctc eklctc is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 287

@redpepper- True to an extent but that all progresses with your experience with the people in question. That is why it pays to, not only exercise great communication but, also, pay close attention to how the people in your life interact with other people and deliver sensitive information and how they interact with you in these circumstances because it gives you great insight into how honest they really are when expressing their true feelings and how much sugar they add to their statements and shows you the best way to approach them in these matters in the beginning. As time passes, however, we all grow and learn in communication with each other which includes learning how each person communicates best, how honest they really want you to be, what works & doesn't work for your them, etc. As long as your actions/words are not seated in negativity, you should be able to speak freely. Ultimately, as I say all the time, it's all about perspective. You cannot help the way someone reacts to your honesty. You can only help them see it clearly, show that it was done in good intent, and work through the kinks (finding out how you can approach/express it better next time). Personally, I lived many years of my life pacifying others' emotions- not speaking honestly about my thoughts and feelings about something or sugar coating my responses to appease the feelings of others. What begins to happen (depending on what it is and how long you have been holding it in) is, those feelings and thoughts that are withheld for the benefit of others, become a burden within you and eventually start to make you sick (emotionally, spiritually, physically). So, I guess the most important thing is to find someone who is communicatively compatible or capable of being so.

That is the issue with our relationships, in general, now. People are too concerned with the politics of wording. I have to have complete honesty but I am a person who is very self-reflective, very rarely offended (if ever), and do my best to not internalize or take much personally. Even when I do experience duress, I live in the belief that our emotions are a direct reflection of self so, by seeking the basis of my emotional reaction within me, I will find that it never has much to do with any external source and, thereby, have no reason to be sensitive about someone's expression. That's just me though. Probably a lot of the reason why I remain a free agent. It's okay. I'll just keep being completely honest (sometimes brutally) with myself.
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