I'm sorry for what all of you are going through.
IMO sometimes the differences in our natures can't come to terms with the requirements for both to be happy and fullfilled. In saying natures I mean in how we are wired to love other people. I am referring to hard wiring, not social conditioning. I truly feel you are polyamorous and Lily is monogamous.
In my experienced opinion, mono-poly relationships are extremely painful at least initially; it really is like being trapped for both sides. Communication and complete openness is the only way to determine if a future is possible in all relationships but I feel it is even more paramount when two very different ways of loving come together.
I wish you all the best but hope you both have the strength to do what will make you healthy in the long run.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over
Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 08-20-2009 at 02:32 PM.