"Hi, I'm Jacob. I can't act at all, but I'm gay bait, and it's written into my contract that I have to take my shirt off every two minutes so that the producers of this drivel can snag another target audience, so you should pay money to come see me fail at acting and give you half a strip-tease every other scene or so."
Yeah, that guy sucks. But he does succeed at what the producers hired him for.
This is my family. It may be little, and broken, but it's still good. Yeah, still good.