drinking to excess IS self destructive...
...Poly issues are hard enough in a perfect scenario (if anyone has ANY clue what that may be I'm all ears). Add the difficulty of dealing with alcoholism or addiction and it becomes untenable. As most on here would agree, brutally honest communication is the only key and if your guy can't see that his drinking is causing problems in my mind that simplifies the matter. The clinical definition of Alcoholic is one who experiences trouble as a result of drinking. That's not just legal difficulties. If drinking takes a front seat to interpersonal relationships time to cut bait. After all you cannot reason with an unreasonable person.