Thank you very much, GroundedSpirit, for taking the time to answer my post.
Indeed I am at a very early stage in figuring all this out, and indeed has your reply made me think even more about the dangers of bringing up the topic. I just feel we're unhappy for some obscure reason, probably my inner unrest of not feeling incomplete 50% the time. It's eating me up and she notices this even if only unconsciously. Neither of us is happy, but we don't know why. Maybe we should address that and find out what it is. It might end up in her wanting deep commitment, and me not being able to commit fully and thus splitting us up. I'm scared of that.
Now I'm lost again