Thanks for the responses. Yes, the weekend showed us the issues that were disturbing so we decided to stick to the things we are all comfortable doing. The occassional tense moment occurs when one of us jumps ahead of the rest or exerts pressure. We try to communicate more to stave off any discomfort from either of us.
For S and I, our maririage feels like some door opened letting in more openness, intimacy and fun. However, there is still so much to work on rebuilding trust and insecurities that came after the affair. A day at a time....