View Single Post
  #4  
Old 11-02-2010, 06:51 AM
fullofdumplins fullofdumplins is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 8
Default

Thanks for your responses! I have shared some of them with my s/o earlier this evening and we briefly discussed it. He can agree to some of these responses and have been able to realize more about the "why". We plan to talk more this weekend (as he had to move out of town 10 months ago due to his job but is back every second weekend) but until then, it will give us some time to think things over.

The boundries that we've set for ourselves have been pretty rigid, but again, they were boundries that we both wanted and made at the *beginning* (to ensure being comfortable with this new relationship style, no hurt feelings and of course, safety). We've always discussed that they can be reviewed and changed later to better suit our situation. I guess we never really looked at going over these boundries again and letting them evolve like our relationship has.

Though, I must say at this point, I don't like the idea of omitting or lying about information. I guess another reason why our boundries have been so rigid at the beginning was not just for transition but because of the non-physical fidelity issues that he had in the past when we were a mono couple. Some of it was a "live and learn" situation for the both of us but the majority was because he did lie or hide things to get what he wanted. It didn't happen that frequently, but enough over a 6 year span that we could recognize that it was an issue. I'm very much about being very open, fair and balanced to make sure that we are both informed and so that there are no surprises. I realize that this has a huge back story behind it so if you want to know, just message me and I'll explain in further detail.. it doesn't seen like I'm doing it much justice trying to explain it and keeping it reader friendly.

I guess my question is now what information have you not supplied to your s/o and for what reason? By sharing what type of information makes you feel controlled or manipulated and why?
Reply With Quote