Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
But I think it's not even that simple............
There's personality involved. Or at least 2 of them
Some people by nature feel better living openly. It minimizes any hidden sense (potential) of guilt, uncertainty etc. If you lay it all out there and it gets 'approved', you feel validated, where otherwise you might feel unsure of your choices or feelings. Maybe some choose to call this a confidence thing ?
Some people have a need of more privacy just to feel they are owner/operators of their own life. Having a pressure to share too much feels like a control mechanism. For those type of people, openness pretty much has to come at what pace they are comfortable with. For those type people, it seems the best solution is for them to TRULY understand and embrace the importance of it.
... ^^ This.
I am that 2nd type of person.
Having pressure to play 'sharsies' really does feel like a control mechanism, as GS said.
I don`t lie, and I don`t hide. Some things really just aren`t anyone`s business.
The difference between someone lying/hiding, and someone who just operates a different way, is in how they react to seeing their partner struggling with this.
I may not initially offer some info to my partners, as it didnt seem relevant. However, if they are struggling, and need to know something, I don`t mind telling them. Or in rare cases, explaining why it is private.
If I ever felt that was being manuipulated though, I`d get pretty crusty, pretty quick.