I've often heard that the "primary relationship" has to come first. I've noticed a lot of people taking that to mean that if there are issues in the primary relationship, then all others need to be put on hold or terminated.
Personally I find this perspective to be one that would guarantee that I not date a person with it. WHY would I want a relationship with someone whose going to toss me to the curb when their OSO has issues?
Frankly-I wouldn't. I expect more loyalty than that.
That said, currently my husband of 12 years has moved out of our home. If I broke up with my boyfriend who has lived here for the last 7 years, my husband would likely return.
I love them both. I want to be with them both.
I am hoping that the other issues can be resolved so that my DH can and will return home.
But I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend just to make things "easier" for DH. This is who I am, these are the men I love.
They have to be able to accept me and this in order to be good partners for me.
Just as I have to accept them and who they love in order to be a good partner for them.
"Love As Thou Wilt"