No more turning away
I'm not sure when it started, or how it will end. But I've had an awakening to my inner poly. And every single thread on this board is making my poly whispers speak louder.
27 year old mother of two (9/10), college student, and married to a mono for two years.
Just a few weeks ago I had a moving dream, where my husband came home from his 3 month long out-of-state work, and some how brought a girlfriend with him. At first he only told me in the dream that she had stopped by. But when I came home she was completely moved into our guest room. He explained she had been having trouble with her husband and he offered her refuge during their trial separation. But soon it became clear that none of this was that clear, and they were obviously sleeping together.
In the dream, I settled right into the drama without skipping a beat. His absences from my bed at night were no concern and her contrived attempts to oust me were laughable at best. Her and I did not get along. I finally resolved to confront her, and before I could say anything she told me, "Its always hard when a family breaks up...when two families break up, but you just have to let it go." It was clearly in her mind that she had won, and I would end up leaving. I glared at her and said, "You will have to learn to share him or you can just leave." and I walked out before she could say anything back.
When I woke from the dream I was completely thrown for a loop. I shared it with my husband later that day, and he was intrigued. Since I met him I have dropped hints and references to polyamory. When we first started dating him I was straight forward about being non-exclusive. And after we became engaged (and exclusive) I began joking about when we were going to get our second wife. But even with all my hints and references to other relationships, I'm not sure I really embraced how much this lifestyle has been in my mind. Now it's come front and center, and for the past few weeks he and I have discussed what it means to practice poly and whether we are cut out for this or not. He has drawn a clear hard line in the sand that there is no room for another man in his life. And I'm really not sure if he is totally aware of what poly with another woman would be like, or if he can handle it either. But boys will be boys and it hasn't taken much convincing on my part to get him started on the idea, however limited it is.
And that's how I came here. There are so many different levels and warning signs of my poly side that I never noticed, til now. All your threads have been so moving that I want to introduce myself as well.
So here I am.