Originally Posted by Marle
Maybe he thought we'd have a just-sex relationship and then we didn't? I don't even know.
I think you've nailed it right here. When I first got together with Redpepper, I thought we would have a casual, time filling relationship because she was married and with other people. So, yes I thought it was going to be mostly about sex.
Well, I fell for her in no time (almost instantly
) and things definitely changed. I had always identified as mono from the get go and have never waivered on that. We worked extremely hard to overcome the differences between our natures but one thing that never phased me was that she had a husband. It made me nervous and a little worried that he was going to kill me.
A lot of this type of mono/poly dynamic is dependant on life experience. Like it or not, most monos are going to want to experience things like the rest of thier mono friends and the greater bulk of society. Your boyfriend does not sound like he has enough of this to fulfill those needs.
Keep in mind that being with someone who is poly does not make someone poly. It makes them poly friendly or accepting and there is a considerable difference.