Closing my blog
Don't know that I'll be around the forums.
I'm not wired poly. I tried. I kept trying - because he loves her and I didn't want to be the reason he ended it.
It was killing me - there are certain rooms in my house I just don't go into now - and I kept it from him - how much I was truely hurting.
I felt dead inside.
I love him enough not to ask him to end things because I don't want him to hurt. He hurts watching me hurt. And now I get to hurt because he's hurting. And its just a fucking shitstorm of pain all around. And I am hurting because I have caused hurt. I have caused pain.
I see how it can work - and how good it can be - but I am wired for emotional monogamy. I thought I could re-wire my brain... I just can't.
Thank you to all who I have connected with - if you have me on fb or email and wish to keep in touch - please do. Friends are so very important.