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Old 11-01-2010, 01:30 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi again Ekl

Originally Posted by eklctc View Post
@GS- At this point, I can't help but take it personally that she is not physically attracted to me (even though, what she said was, she wasn't as physically attracted to me as I was to her-whatever the fuck that means). I take it personally because he/she/both, I feel, have lead me on. She has been sexual with me, solo, knowing she really didn't want to. She has participated with us together knowing she really didn't want to have sex with me. She has consistently made comments to support her attraction to me knowing it was not the truth.
I can see your frustration - seriously.
It makes me wonder whether she in particular has ever gotten beyond the phase of keeping her real feelings etc beyond the superficial level that always exists between people at first. I think you are alluding to as much when you say it's apparent she hasn't allowed herself to open fully to you on any emotional level. Maybe we are saying the same thing.

And it's common, and desirable in some cases, to go with the flow for a bit even though we don't initially have/feel the real desire with the idea that first impressions may be wrong, things can grow over time etc. You get the idea. If this is the way she operates internally, it may be that she's only coming to a realization after some time that the connection just isn't going to be there. But she gave it an honest try ?? (sexually and whatever else)

And the crazy thing is that a lot of times, it's simple, stupid LITTLE things ! Maybe she doesn't like your perfume, how much makeup you wear, your laugh etc etc.

Which makes me wonder again if you guys have ever progressed to the phase that you can be totally honest with each other and all understand it's importance and that anything that needs saying won't be taken as hurtful. It's not easy for a lot of people, especially those who have had to live a life in the "politically correct" stream. Wouldn't it be a shame to find out is was just a preference in body oil ?? Not likely the case - but who knows.

So - are you there yet ? Is she ? Are you all as a group ?

It's not natural in modern society. Takes a lot of retraining.

Good luck

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