Hi Selene. I don't think you re ridiculous, but I do think that you need to find a way to change your way of thinking. You two have always been included in the "7" when being referred to on here, so why should you think differently. I think that you should take advantage of the fact that you have some space and see it as a positive. Having space means you will miss out on some stuff, but really, there is no reason that you can't have people over to have a group shower. In that way you will get your need met to feel included.
In my experience I am included as much as I make an effort. I can't justify not being involved if I wasn't there and I can't put it on others to remember to include me. If I want to see them and be with them then I need to create that opportunity. When that happens people begin to think about me and invite me to stuff. No one invites me anywhere when I whine about not being included. No one likes whining and anger, so why would they want that around...
If you were to approach it all with the attitude of "hey. I would of loved to of been there, what happened... come over to my place and we can do the same, or can we all have a shower now." along with a smile and a cheery attitude, then I think you might find that everyone gets into you being around and wants you to be there next time... and will call you up to come over.
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