Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Honestly-I suck cause I can't flame ya.
I read your post and my reactions were the same as you were describing yours to be.
I'll have to flame myself. There is something that really bothers me about how I react to these types of sexually open/charged environments. I used to think it was because I felt I was holding Redpepper back from doing what she really would like to. Now I'm more convinced that It is purely judgment based on my much different view of sexuality and sex within relationships. I'm totally ignoring other aspects of complete human beings because I won't even open myself to getting to know them. Part of this is I rarely feel the need to get to know people anyways. Friendships come to me by way of work and other friends. Most friendships are only active when I am in the same virtual or real space. Out of sight, out of mind so to speak. So from my perspective friendships don't and shouldn't require work. From that point of view it is hard to knowingly open myself up to people that I already know I struggle with.
Throw into that a lingering doubt about Redpepper's happiness with my sexually withdrawn mono ways and you have a recipe for self inflicted exclussion...that only affects me if it hurts my connection with RP. Otherwise I would say fuck it and be quite happy with my family and the few friends I have and my sexually withdrawn bubble.
I am perfectly happy and feel solidified in my views of sexuality, I just wish I could be the same for other peoples' views. Is this just a natural tendency to want to be around people with similar values and views? Is this a sense of hidden threat to my relationship with Redpepper? Is this a morality judgment?
Is this question even really worth my concern? What are the implications of simply accepting that I am not completely accepting?
Enough thinking..time to rake some leaves...now that is something I could do with lots of people!