Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Redpepper was invited to a halloween party by a friend who used to swing. She asked me if I wanted to go and thinking very quickly I said "No, but I will babysit so you and Polynerdist can go!"
So if Redpepper didn't have another partner I might feel guilted into going to something that I really didn't want to. How's that for a benefit of poly
To be honest, when she asked me why I didn't want to go I promptly stated "Cause I am a judgmental son of a bitch". Acceptance is very freeing for me it seems.
So this party was last night. I stayed home and watched LB so Redpepper, PN and Derby were free to enjoy. My instincts were right in this case.
Redpepper was telling me about the party and everything was fine..until she mentioned the $20 rooms and orgy room that were available. My judgement kicked in. She then told me about a guy smacking her ass and lots of them talking to her and making comments no doubt with the hopes of finding a new hole to penetrate. My belief that swingers simply can't engage in social events without overriding sexual goals is only reinforced and so I find myself even more repelled by the concept of engaging them on any level. It's even starting to affect my desire to hang out with good friends of ours including Redpepper's NSBF and wife but I am going to fight that in myself as we enjoy a lot of family fun together.
I expected them to have more fun without me there and I was right. I would have lost my mind and admittedly put a damper on several peoples fun if I thought any disrespect was directed at Redpepper or Derby for that matter. I'm sure my reptilian brain would have had a great time though
There was also lots of casual flirting that I have no interest in seeing or hearing about really. Simply that they had a good time is all I need to hear LOL!
Now the good thing. I was totally cool with them all going! Just because I live with them doesn't mean I have to participate in everything or be with them all the time. I suspect I will spend less time doing social things that are hosted by certain interests groups within the non-monogamous community. The community seems to be opening up more and expanding in both numbers ,diversity and activities, which makes me want to be around people from my old community even more. I'm ultimately very vanilla in the social realm.
I'm fine with that but will have to watch just how much I avoid things.
I will have to work on the balance between being true to myself and what I want to do socially and making sure I maintain my intimate connection with Redpepper.
Feel free to flame me for being judgmental, hell I can't get over it either LOL!