Originally Posted by Breathesgirl
Breathes has a fwb whom I can NOT stand. Either she is toxic for me or my attitude is toxic.
................................How to change this?
Tough situation. It's not uncommon to not "click" with someone our love may be attracted to, but this seems a bit more than lack of "click". It also seems (one side of the story) that she is literally quite vengeful towards you.
This is NOT going to work out long term - short of your mention of a DADT arrangement - which you say you can't abide. And even that wouldn't work unless she was willing for the same and would drop you as the target for her vehemence.
But beyond that, you might ask what this is telling you about HIM ? He is a party to this, not an innocent bystander. If he's making no attempt to get you all together, try to work out the issues, be at least respectful and civil to each other - what does that say about him ?
I'd give this some thought if it were me......................
We're only hearing one side of the story but it seems to be a story I'd write myself out of pretty quickly if it were all going this way.