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Old 10-31-2010, 01:13 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 833
Default toxic relationships

Breathes has a fwb whom I can NOT stand. Either she is toxic for me or my attitude is toxic.

Early on in Breathes & my relationship fwb & I did try to become friends but she put up walls to keep me out and couldn't handle my brutal honesty so that fizzled rather quickly.

A trusted friend, who knows all of us, tells me she has always been this way where Breathes is concerned. She puts up the walls, trying to chase away any possibility he may have at a relationship.

It didn't work with me, and won't. I'm here to stay.

Fwb puts up the walls, says mean things, tries to get all of his attention to herself, intrudes on time when I truly do need him to myself & just generally makes a nuisance of herself & inserts herself when/where she isn't wanted.

Since it's apparent she's in his life to stay, & that we can't forge a working relationship of some sort, I want to try to change my attitude so that she no longer has this power to totally sap any happiness from me when in each others' presence. I'm at a loss as to how to go about this short of going DADT where she's concerned which is something I can't do. I've never tried it but, to me, DADT just smacks of dishonesty because I would be totally in the dark & I would feel I was getting short shrift.

Has anyone been there, done that & have some advice on how to go about it?

It's not jealousy I'm feeling. It's full blown despise & hatred!

She's toxic to me, I recognize this. I try to NOT be where she is but that isn't always possible. Even the thought of her purposely changing OUR plans, which she did last night, by inserting herself where she wasn't wanted or needed has me boiling

How to change this?
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
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