Here lies my space of manifestation where I will share all sorts of things.
As of mid-November 2010, I will have lived in Denver, CO for two years after taking a promotion with my company and relocating from Atlanta, GA. From September 2008 through June-July of 2010, I was on an unwanted sexual hiatus (excluding the one dick I sucked in the summer of 2009). Of course, I could have taken advantage of plenty of opportunities to have miscellaneous sex with various people, and did browse around for potentials; however, I just didn't due to bad vibes, pondering possibilities (mainly neutral and negative), not wanting to prep myself for sexual interaction, etc.
So, I was reintroduced to regular sexual activity once I began my current relationship (involved with married couple). Early on, my male partner and I agreed on a regularly scheduled program where we spend time together two days a week minimum. We don't always have sex both of those times but we normally have some type of sexual interaction. I've made it a point to have sexual interaction and sex both visits, moreso, now. From week to week, we can take advantage of other opportunities to see each other and/or have sex.
My female partner and I do not get to have regular sexual interaction. I would say that we have sex (either just us two or all three of us) approximately twice a month. We do get to see each other/interact more than twice a month though. I have suggested that she and I identify at least one day during the week where we can spend a few hours together as I have with my male partner. She agreed but we have yet to decide on the day and time and work it into our schedules.
I like to say that I have a moderate to high sex drive; however, my moderate is 4-5 days of sex at a minimum. Obviously, my high would be daily to possibly include more than one session a day. Both of my partners state their sex drives are moderate with their moderate maximum at 2-4 times a week. We all understand that those numbers don't add up which is okay since we are open and that gap can be filled elsewhere.
Now, that the foundation is laid, here is the meat of the story. I would love to have more sex with my partners and they are open to having more sex but I have an issue with disturbing them on the days I deem as their 'quality time' days and I have an issue with asking for things in general but, especially, sex. I've never had to ask for sex because I've always dated multiple people and I've always had people in my life whose sole purpose was to be sexually available. Plus, people would contact me for sex so I never had a need to contact them (I've been a participant in the adult/swinging lifestyle since I was a teen so that is why sex has always been so readily available to me).
I know it also has a lot to do with being vulnerable and seeming 'needy'. I have been on my own since my teens and have prided myself on my independence, strength, and self-sufficiency so it is hard to basically say, "I need you. Can I please have you?" outside of the time I'm already allotted. Additionally, I feel bad considering interrupting the couples time together simply because I'm a fucknut, even though, most times they are not even together (which I am unaware of at the time).
I would rather hook up at the adult club and have meaningless, protected sex with someone I have no plans in seeing again than to interrupt them. Especially, if I cannot revel in the moment with my partners. I mean, if my partners are busy, I can call them for a quickie and then carry on with my day but, the issue with that is, when I'm with him/her the last thing I want is a quickie at that point.
I know what I have to do. I have to work on allowing myself to make them aware of my sexual need when they arise AND I need to stop being so considerate of everyone's needs and try to put my own first sometimes.
We had a small snafu because, on one of these occasions, I went and had sex with a guy without checking to see if my partners were available beforehand. Now, before I get jumped on, let me explain. Late in the week, we had all discussed the weekend and they both were going to be busy (she was working all weekend and he was working and continuing a home improvement project with his dad). Additionally, my female partner and I had talked and she had indicated that the minimum deadline of no sex she had requested of our male partner (she was in the post-miscarriage healing phase) was that particular weekend so I presumed that she would be taking care of him sexually and they would be spending whatever free time they managed together since it was a busy weekend anyway. At that point, I had already began making plans to entertain myself since they would be preoccupied and we did not discuss getting together. Well, Saturday came, we all did make contact with each other and they were both still occupied so I recruited someone to play with. No changes in plans were shared with me so as I prepared to go play and contact my partners to give them detailed information about the guy, location, and time frame, it dawned on me that I could have asked them if they would have time and were interested in playing with me that evening but, trying to be considerate, I didn't even considerate it
prior to the point of calling them. So, upon contacting them, my first statement was something to the effect of 'I may have gone about this the wrong way but since it's already in progress, we can discuss how we would like to handle these situations going forward at a later date'. Then I proceeded to let them know where I was going and how long I would be there. Well, it ended up being a much bigger deal than I thought it would be and landed me in 'outside sex restriction'. My restriction has recently ended but their (his) main point was he would prefer that I check with them about their desire/availability first before pursuing outside sex. That's understandable but, uh, I'm going to have to work on that.
Anywho ... what is baffling to me is that I have gone almost two years without sex and, though that wasn't my goal, it wasn't a big deal. Now, that I am getting sex, it's a struggle for me to go one full day without sex. lol... I don't know if I hit a sexual surge/peak through my hiatus and have just become aware of it because I am active or what.