Need some advice
I'm totally new to polyamory, however very soon after meeting a poly woman I realized that all my previous relationships had failed because I had only ever modeled my behavior on monogamy. After some pretty intense sessions of introspection I knew I had been living a lie and I am confident I am poly but this leaves me with some fear. I feel afraid I will have trouble meeting other women who understand my desire to live as poly, I am afraid this lifestyle might stand in my way of having children in the future. How would I select which women I would father my children with if I was in a situation where more then one woman wanted children or if none of my women wanted my children and wanted them with other partners. I feel no jealousy but in biological matters some part of my animal brain would freak out.
I want so badly for my lady to be happy, very soon into the relationship but I am afraid I will come off as a doormat. I don't want her other relationships to fail because I know that would cause her pain. I'd be happy to support her emotionally if someone else hurt her, as I would want her to do the same for me but I don't want to be just a shoulder to cry on either.