Thread: confused
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:51 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Originally Posted by Seekinganswer View Post
There is finally a spring in his step after so long which means he was living a tortured existence these past months. He was always so serious and cool and guarded. When I see him kiss and hug D,, I feel soft and warm inside which further confuses me. Shouldnt I be jealous? Shoudlnt I be revolted by the image of the two of them entwined in passion. No I am not. Knowing that S is doing this right in front of me with the same person he had the affair should make me absolutely livid. It doesnt, I am happy for him because I feel deeply that he is happy with D and free to express his love for her. All this is new to my mono wired mind. And yes.. its weird. More weird is that I was scared and nervous before our meeting because I was afraid D would reject S and his explanation for all this. I couldnt bear that thought but I knew it had to be done.
This is called compersion. That feeling of happiness because your partner is happy. A LOT of people struggle to get to the point where they can feel that happiness when their love is with another, not all find it & most still have moments when their partner being with another is uncomfortable for them. It sounds like the three of you are working things out is a way that each of you can accept.

That thought of jealousy & being livid is your mono mind coming out to play, trying to cause trouble. Face it & banish it from your life.
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
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