We actually have a very transparent, honest and playful way of communicating and connecting. We call each other on our shit and are both willing to explore it or at least question some of our beliefs.
She is not afraid at all to explore the gay territory. I am the one who needs some rules to play by. I don't want to be another secret friend with benefits. For one, I would like to know everybody else who would be involved with her (as it would affect me too), that's all.
I'm open and not inflexible, but there has to be a common ground from which both of us can explore. But generally speaking, this common ground hasn't been established yet.