Originally Posted by Ragabash
I suppose that's the great advantage of poly, in its own way. One can keep a place in their heart for someone they care about and not feel like they're holding their life still on that hope. We can move on, find other relationships or contentment with the ones we have, and if something changes we can be happy for that, too.
Just had a general conversation about this subject with bf last week. He was a little worried about a relationship I have had for 23 years (not hubs but a sort of LDR, more friendship at this point but someone I have loved for a long time. He is very mono and married with a beautiful family, but we are still very close.) Anyway prompted by a PM I had sent, I have kind of come to terms that I have been poly for a very long time. I felt terrible guilt at first but then almost immediate anger towards bf (and someone else). Bf knew about LDR but just never realized the depth and kind of thought I should be over it. I know it is his own insecurity but I did feel I had to defend my reason for loving someone I have known since I was a teen. But then I realized because of the LDR factor he has never had to really deal with the reality of it. So yes, there will always be a place in my heart but my life has moved on and encompassed alot more. And I am so happy and content and looking forward to my future with bf that the LDR really does not factor into my daily thoughts. Actually bf offers the kind of intimacy I needed and never had with anyone else, not hubs and not LDR. So I hope he is less insecure but also that he realizes some things aren't meant to "get over" there are people who will always live in your heart but move on in a sense and there are people who occupy your entire being. 2Rings is the latter. So is my husband. I am really happy to have found my soulmate. I am really happy to have a loving, supportive husband who has given me four beautiful children. I am happy to have discovered my polyness. I am a happy and blessed girl.
I hope you are too Tonberry.