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Old 10-28-2010, 02:34 PM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 275
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@myzka- Thanks. I've always been known for being able to have and accept a much broader viewpoint when considering topics.

@Grounded- Thanks for your insight. Whether you move fast or slow, relationships can sour. That is why I offered an alternate approach to the 'living situation'. It doesn't have to be introduced as 'we are all together and we really are into each other and we are moving full speed ahead by moving her and her daughter in as a part of our family'. If the situation is clearly discussed and everyone has an understanding (and possible a written agreement), things can work out fine and, if they don't, there is an agreement in place that clearly defines what is expected in that event.

Of course, we know there are different experiences and viewpoints AND approaches. I believe that is a lot of the reason why we are here, isn't it?

I definitely agree about adjustment. LIFE in general is a big adjustment. It's all about how you perceive and adapt to it.

Thanks for your thoughts.

@redpepper- you must have misunderstood my statement. The traditional, conditioned mindset statement was in reference to the 'slow down' thought process not the 'speed up'. Of course, we all know that is the 'first' statement most people would make because that IS what is taught as the norm in relationship development. The traditional relationship mindset, in general, is a conditioned mindset. Laws, society, and many religions have given us the blueprint of how relationships should be conducted, who can be involved with them, what type of sex is acceptable, etc. and those standards are filtered down through most generations and accepted as 'the right way'. I have had some experience in various traditional and alternative relationship types and the topic at hand happens across the board (speedy development). Of course it would seem that it happens moreso in one community than another depending on what community you are involved in. Plus, since most alternative relationship communities do not associate in big groups, I could see how one would determine quicker development in comparison to others in various poly communities since they are most likely basing their opinion on a small nitch of people.

Of course, we know any relationship type can develop at various paces...what pace is an acceptable one depends on who's analyzing it. My point is...the only comfort levels that are important are those of the people involved in the relationship.; however, I believe in proceeding with caution in all situations regardless of the length of time vested. Contrary to popular belief, time doesn't guarantee knowledge, especially, when dealing with people who are constantly changing, growing, and learning.

All that to say, though, we all inquire about the thoughts of others, we (well I know I do) do so as a sounding board to, hopefully, be introduced to some points that we 'hadn't' considered as we make our decision on how to move forward.

Thanks for your thoughts.
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