Thread: confused
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:03 PM
diane diane is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 8
Default Confused

sorry the message was not complete. am sure this can make sense if you read "Seeking Answer and my heart is expanding" experiences cos that is A and S am referring to. We did not get enough time to talk with A and S before they asked me to leave so that they could sort them selves out and possibly mend their marriage, i had to go but it was a painful for me to. I missed him so much, i hated him because i thought he never defended what we had, but at the same time, i put myself in A's shoes and deep down i felt how hurt she was. i was numb first and second week, did not feel like doing anything, because i felt S had lied to me. All the time we were together, he assured me that he loved trully and he wanted a future with me but always asked me to be patient. so i hardly believed him because there was no sign at all that he would ever leave his wife or tell his wife about us.

I did not hear from him for threeweeks, they had agreed with wife never to contact me again if their marriage had to work, so yes i felt discarded and abandoned by the one who said he loved me, but that did not stop me from loving him. At time i could hate him, feel like texting and ask him why he never defended our love but could not. Why because i had to respect their privacy, and i believe in "not chasing and pleading for a man's love"
Anyway, my misery came to an end when i finally got a call from him asking me to meet him together with his wife, i was afraid coz i thought it was not right for me to meet with them after what happened, was trying to heal and i suspected that they wanted to maybe assure me to keep off and never disorganise their marriage again, but guess what all was so beautiful. A is so understanding, given their discussions, she got to understand that what S felt for me was real and for him to be totally happy and complete, i had to be part of his life or their love. S explained to her several time that he loves both of us and we can live a poly kind of life because i too connect with A. Now A welcomes the idea, but sometimes she doesnot feel comfortable about the whole thing, i welcome the idea too but my problem is how can the two of us be happy and conteneted with one man?, how can i be myself around him in the presence of his wife and kids?, S is so happy that i accepted to be part of it, and i and A are both happy but at times we feel like its weird and we would both prefer to have one man for just her or one man for me not two women with one man. He feels ready for everything and he is so happy that am back in his life. but how can the three of us sincerely be happy,unless i step aside???, am a young lady who also needs a life and a family with kids, how is it all possible, if someone has gone through the same please talk to us.
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