Different kind of newness
I've been lurking a while, and I know I posted back when I was first exploring polyamory with my husband. That didn't work so well, and when things fell apart, I just didn't have the energy to be here, and I wasn't sure it was really for me anyway.
I have a lover, that I kept up when my husband and I split, and I care deeply for him and his primary girlfriend. Being a part-time non-decisionmaking member of their family is so easy and good.
And then I met someone else, and I just told him about it right from the beginning. At first I thought his reaction was shock because it was new. Well actually it was shock because he didn't expect to find "someone who understood".
I was moving for the school year, so we both thought it would be just a fling. But I'm beginning to understand that it was not. So here I am.
We obviously care for one another, and talk online for at least a little bit each day. We are anxiously awaiting the time when we can visit. We neither of us want to rush into anything committed, and have agreed that we just want to see where things go, because we enjoy one another's presence.
I do find I want to know if there are other people in his life, and who they are. I want him to be happy, I want him to have love in his life, I want him to be who he is that I like so much. But I also want to know, and I don't know the bounds of our relationship well enough to know if/when to ask. And I want to be sure of my motivation before I do... I think I mostly want to know where I stand. I want to know what sexual choices I need to make. I want to know them too, and have an opportunity to love someone else like I love my other lover's girlfriend.
I'd love to hear feedback, and I like to learn from example, so please share your experiences too.