View Single Post
  #49  
Old 10-28-2010, 12:53 AM
ThatRomanticGeek ThatRomanticGeek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 21
Default

Quote:
You would give up your wife for some NRE? What happens when the NRE goes away, and it always does eventually?
Why should Michelle get NRE and I don't? Compersion is fine, but it's not selfish of me to want something more for myself.

Quote:
If you can love your wife and another, that is poly. That you prefer mono women, there is nothing wrong with that. However, what it sounds like is that you are still stuck on ONE mono woman and translating that to everyother woman you may meet. Do you really think Bree would happily just accept you back if you divorced your wife?
Yes, I am still stuck on one mono woman because she's the only mono woman I've found that will even talk to me once they find out I'm married. Happily accept me after a rash divorce? No, that's not even what I want. But date me under the presumption that if we turn serious, it can be the long term thing she wants? Yes, that's what I want from her.

Quote:
I'm confused. You are identifying as mono because you haven't found a lover who is mono? I have a boyfriend that is mono, that doesn't make me mono. Not that you can't identify as you are fit, but isn't it a mixed message to say you are mono to a potential date when you have a wife?
I'm identifying as mono because I have no interest in being poly. Michelle may be out of the closet as a poly, and I deal with it because I love her and I love our kids. I wouldn't ask her to change, and I wouldn't tolerate it if she did. I've spent our entire relationship trying to get her to quit being what other people want her to be and just be herself. But I don't want polyamory. Not for me, not for a partner.

Is that a good enough reason for me to just up and leave? Fuck no. I don't want to be alone, and I don't think this misalignment between me and Michelle is enough of a reason to rearrange our lives in and of itself. Other than me feeling lonely, everybody's happy.

Quote:
Is the problem you want to find a woman to commit to you? Where poly girls won't offer that monogamous mindset?
Yep.
Reply With Quote